Vent of the week

There are some things in this world that are meant to take you far away from your problems and all your thoughts. For me, writing is one of those. But really, why do we even try to get away? We end up returning to the same shit hole later anyway. I'm having those things you call a bad day. So excuse me while I vent it out in writing.
This world really has crossed the lines with all its expectations bullshit. We all have to live up to some expectations of some kind. And even knowing how crappy it is to try to live up to someone's expectations, we still have our expectations for others! How bizarre is that?? Why do we even do it? To make people suffer so they know how it feels? Most people would say so others can live up to their full potential. BULLSHIT. That is total and utter shit and everyone knows it. Full potential? What kind of crap is that? How does anyone know someone else's FULL potential? They don't know jack! they just think they do and that gives them the right to do what? Make them feel like crap in hopes that it will motivate them knowing that they did so terrible? Where on Earth did we come up with that twisted logic?! This world has messed itself up so bad we don't even realize how stupid we're being.
Today, I heard from someone that they were making a big deal because Stephen Harper said he wasn't going to the Olympic Ceremony... And Bush was! Yay for Harper! What do they expect us to do? Throw a party in his honour?? This is the idiot who decided to withdraw Canada's name from the Kyoto Protocol just because the U.S. didn't. What the fuck do we owe him? Canada had a really good reputation and this drongo has gone and messed it all up. We are acting as if we are part of the U.S! We aren't and we never will be! So why doesn't Bush go and suck on that! It's just really hard to believe that a trivial thing like our prime minister not going to the Olympic ceremony is a bigger deal than Canada's stupidity and the withdrawal of their name from something like the Kyoto Protocol. The Kyoto Protocol was made to SAVE the Earth and these idiots are REFUSING to sign it. U.S. and Australia were the only two countries to not sign it until our ass of a prime minister decided to worship Bush's every move and withdrew Canada's name. I really don't get what the fascination is with this man. Why the hell is he so freaking special? Screw him! He's done nothing but destroy our world! He goes to war on Afghanistan and then Iraq. His country is one of the biggest contributors to global warming and he won't even agree to reduce their carbon emissions! Why does he hate the world??? WHAT DID WE DO TO HIM? If you think about it, there really isn't such a big difference between him and Hitler. Maybe they should get together and go bowling.
I know it's probably really odd, but I think my middle name is odd. Life is just so confusing. One day, you want to be a surgeon, the next, a journalist, and the next an FBI agent. Is there something wrong with me? Am I really supposed to know what I want to do for the REST OF MY LIFE? It seems so insane. And how are you really supposed to know? How the fuck are we supposed to live like this? Everyone's pressuring us to figure it out! How do we do it?? They've been through it, can't they understand sometimes it doesn't work out like that? MOTHER OF GOD. Seriously. Going back to my original point. Those times when we need a break? Why do we try? So we can get a fresh start? So we can feel refreshed? WHY? Why do we even have to try so hard in life? Everything just messes up as soon as we fix it anyway. There reallly is NO point. There are some people who seem so perfect but they're breaking apart inside somehow. Are we supposed to learn how to fix it?

Follow the yellow brick road.

There are certain things in this world which make you think. And by think, I mean really think. Songs for instance...This is a quote from one of my favourite songs...
"cold in a summer breeze
yeah, you're shivering
on your bended knee
still, when you're heart is sore
and the heavens pour
like a willow bending with the storm, you'll make it
running against the wind
playing the cards you get
something is bound to give "
The song is called Hope for the Hopeless and it is by "A Fine Frenzy." This song just makes you stop... and think of all those times when its you feeling cold in a summer breeze or running against the wind... About all the times you thought there was no way you could get up, make it...but you did. And that's what life is all about. Sure we all get knocked down sometime. But that doesn't mean we can't pull ourselves back up. Maybe it really is easier said than done. I know I don't have a very positive outlook on life but maybe that's why my life needs a little more re-evaluating. Or maybe there is a reason we have those moments or days. Maybe it's to show us how human we all are. Inside. Individually. To show us that we will crash. We are meant to crash but we are also meant to pick up the pieces and move on. All we need is that one little spark of hope and we can do it. We were made to catch that one little spark and add fuel enough to make it so large, it can lead us out. Out of our dreary, dingy corner where we bury ourselves in those times. And when we need saving, we will find it.

Also, although it may seem a little morbid, I also think a thing like cancer can give you tons to think about. Recently, I've come into contact with a friend who just lost her mother to cancer. She has been telling me how she's been coping with it, how her family's been coping with it, and how it has actually triggered contact between her brother and herself, who haven't been in touch for 10 years. Death is a tragic thing but as one of my best friends always says, Everything Happens For A Reason. Sure, it takes a while to get over the whole thing, but a couple years later, you see how even though it changed your life completely, some of the changes were for the better. I have been talking to my friend for a couple days now, and we have become surprisingly good friends. Somehow, I find, helping her through her little moments when she feels down actually make me first of all, feel much better knowing I'm helping someone. And secondly, understand a little bit about human behaviour and how death affects us mortals. A death can obviously inflict pain upon a person, but it can also arouse anger, confusion, hatred, sadness, and several other things.
Some people believe that if they keep it bottled up inside, it will just disintegrate. Yeah.. right. Keeping all these emotions swirling inside you doesn't help anyone. Eventually, they're all going to fill every little bubble in your body to the point of you feeling so overwhelmed you could be in danger of combustion. Yes, it's hard for some people to display emotion openly, but who's telling you to cry in the middle of a busy square? Cry in the safety of your own four walls. Cry with your little brother, or your older sister... Just cry. or do something.

Yes, sorry got a little riled up there. I guess I have a lot to say on the subject. But I really do believe we have a lot of thinking to do in this world. And letting other people do it for us can't work for everyone. We all really just need to pave our own way, in our own colour, with our own materials. Just.. follow your own yellow brick road.

There I Stood

So, that thing I wrote last time.. I decided that was a one time mood thing, so I guess I'm not going to be able to finish it right now. Maybe some other time. In other news, I have been learning sign language. As embarrased as I am to say it, I have been hooked onto another amazing show. What is it with me and shows, eh? And its partly Canadian I may add. It's called Sue Thomas:F.B.Eye. The main character of that show, Sue Thomas, is deaf. Erego(bad spelling sorry), she uses ASL(American Sign Language) and also, quite brilliantly, she has mastered the art of reading lips AND talking. She really is inspiring. Ever since I started watching this show, I was very intrigued by all the sign language. So I decided to start learning some. So far, I know most of the alphabets by heart, and I'm proud to say I can finger spell a lot! Although I am a little fuzzy on the J and the Z. I've also been learning some words and I must say, this is all very enlightening.
To add to that topic, this show has really got me thinking...about the future. I know, that sounds very frightening doesn't it? It actually is pretty scary. Like, how are you supposed to know what you want to do for the rest of your life? That's just insane. Although, I do think I want an exciting job. I couldn't ever spend every hour of every day in an office cooped up filling papers. That is just too... mundane, if you will. I want to be out there, doing something. Maybe journalism. Who knows? Gotta keep my options open though right?? Pshh, when does that ever happen? All I know is that it needs to be in the city. Or close enough so it wouldn't take me too long to get to the city. I have this thing for having tall, flashy buildings around me. Billboards all around. Theaters, parking meters, a huge mall(like the Eaton Centre) and just the freedom the city offers. I don't know... this is all really scary to think about. Maybe later.
Signing off,

Deep Thinker

The Wonderful World of...

Once upon a time, there lived a rich, handsome boy who used his beauty to convince others to do jobs for him. He had a good life. His father was a "businessman" selling an undisclosed object. His mother was an extremely successful lawyer. His mom was always busy with work but she hoped and prayed that her beautiful son didn't turn into one of those stuck up boys. Well, unfortunately, he wasn't just one of those, he was like the ruler of all that was spoiled. He had his own crown and everything. The one thing he was lacking was a red carpet for everywhere he stepped... but don't you worry your pretty little head. His highness is using all his brain capacity(which is fairly limited, I may add) and those of thirty others to fix that little problem.
One particular day, His Highness decided he would, at last, grace the wonderful people at the Wrint's School for Boys with his presence. Really, what an honour. So he boarded his little bike wich was being ridden by little Timmy Jones today. Little Timmy Jones was tiny, but he had hard, strong leg muscles from riding His Highness around town whenever he desired. Today, His Highness was in a particularly happy mood. Timmy could tell because he would keep poking Timmy until he finally gave in and squeaked. Then, for the main event of the ride, His Highness screamed at the top of his lungs and Timmy was forced to squeeze the brakes. Four big, scary looking boys jumped out of the bushes and lifted His Highness from the bike and placed him on two of their's shoulders.

What a life...

To Be Continued next time....

Heath Ledger <3

I think my first Heath movie was A Knight's Tale. Of course, I loved it immediately. It was a couple years ago, back when I wasn't too into the actors, just the movies. After a while though, I started getting interested in the actors too... I re watched A Knight's Tale and then sprouted my love for Heath Ledger.
He was such a versatile actor. He went from playing a carefree teenager in "10 Things I Hate About You" to playing a nervous "Grimm Brothers" to playing a sexy cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain." Although a lot of people scorned him for playing a homosexual cowboy in Brokeback Mountain, I personally think he did an amazing job! Screw those other people.
O.M.G! my favourite Heath movie HAS TO BE.... 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU! It was the cutest, sweetest, awesomestestestestest movie EVER. So if you haven't watched it, GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!
So the autopsy came back and the family has said that he died from accidental overdose. How sad is that? I had a HUGE crying fit when I heard. He was one of my favourite actors and he just took some pills which had the same affect. And the worst part is that some of the drugs were long lasting so he probably took that a couple days before taking his sleeping pills(he was having trouble sleeping ever since shooting Joker for the new Batman movie) and that could have killed him. It wasn't intentional. It just happened because he was taking pain killers and sleeping pills.
His death has affected many people, I'm sure. It took us all by surprise. I just hope Michelle Williams(ex-fiance) and their 2 year old daughter Matilda, and his entire family is okay.

Yours, in mourning,
Nann =(

SUPERbowl sunday

Superbowl Sunday is one of those days when the entire world stops to watch one game. New York Giants vs. New England Patriots. My team? The Patriots. Why? I'm really not sure but I think it might have to do a lot with their quarterback, Tom Brady. That man is just GORGEOUS. Uh-oh. They're back three points. I don't really know why the superbowl is such a big deal, it just is. Everyone gathers their friends in the house with the biggest T.V, raids LCBO of all their beer, scrounges up lots of foood, and tries to make the house as "superbowl friendly" as possible. It really is an amazing day.
I'm really not a good football person so I don't really know what else to say. Personally, i think hockey is the most fun sport to watch. Somethings always happening, everyones always excited, the fights are SO fun to watch and the players are all sooo cute! :D
OMGGG!!! The Pats got a touchdown!!!! THEYRE IN THE LEAD!!! woooot woooooooot!

TEHEHEHE... okay, I'm done.
This game is getting too interesting to not watch

smelll ya laterrr,
Nan-igator

All You need is Love!

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Hallmark and Hershey are releasing new "heartsy" products and making millions from all those lovey-dovey couples who HEART this holiday.I went to the mall yesterday with one of my friends, and along with a sidewalk sale and products pouring out of stores, it also seemed like the entire mall's decorating theme was red, white, and pink. Just before leaving, we were walking by our Hallmark and we just looked into and all we could see was red, pink, and white.
Really, as quoted from The O.C., Hallmark and Hershey created Valentine's Day to make millions off of these couples who have nothing to do except for buy presents for their significant others. From what I hear, this holiday has been going on forever but seriously... isn't it SO blown out of proportion now? Oh well, what can we do rite? Valentine's Day is just for all the romantics out there who have no other way to show the person they love, that they actually love them. A little bit materialistic if you ask me, but its all the same

14 days until the holy dayy,
ciaoo--until next time,
Nanapalooooza : )